As we get older and all school is left far behind it becomes harder and harder to not just keep friends but make friends. Its obvious that most of us are lonely yet none of us seem to have the courage to be friends with one another. We’d rather look down at our phones at all moments that try and look at each other for the normal awkward moment we all share just before we’re supposed to say hello. And because we’re incapable of niceties we find ourselves loosing friends faster than we can make them and eventually with no real friends at all. Below we present to you a few options to help fill the empty feeling of having no familiar faces or voices around to share life with if the only face and voice around is yours.
Wash your cloths, wash your linens, pass the vacuum and do the dishes. Shave and get a hair cut even an inexpensive one and take all the trash out, even open the windows for a few hours to let some clean air in and draw the curtains to let some sunshine in. Even in the winter. You’re not doing any of this to get ready for company but for your own health, for your self worth. Every Sunday spend the morning hours cleaning up, grocery shopping and taking care of your overall appearance. Routine helps, it really does. That is to say if you’ve been neglecting yourself otherwise you can skip this step.
5 Ingredient Meal Preps
Eating take out or junk food isn’t going to make one feel any better both physically or mentally and cooking at home can be a difficult task but it doesn’t have to be. On the weekend go shopping for the new week. I like to shop late usually after 8pm on Saturdays as the walmart is nearly empty at that hour and I don’t have to feel rushed. I buy only whole foods to make good easy meals like eggs and bacon for breakfast, a 5 ingredient meal for lunch and a protein shake for dinner. Of course taking the number of servings into account then I cook my lunch for the week. It feels great to have a homemade lunch ready for the entire following week as well as breakfast and a simple dinner. Don’t forget fruit too! So you have a fresh snack at any time.
I have news for you, you’re not alone
We’re never alone. Unless you keep yourself alone by hiding in your room behind a computer as your only source of communications. You’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone to be around others otherwise you might as well be in prison. I would start with baby steps, visit the mall, the library or a coffee shop. At this step you don’t have to talk to anyone, its the first step in getting out of your uncomfortable comfort zone. Oh and force yourself to wear a smile. Even a soft smile and take a deep breath now and then. And be kind to the few you come across. Practice kindness with the cashiers or with other shoppers.
Calendars and Events
Search online and find local calendars for events you would like to attend. From museum shows to live concerts and even church events or meetups fill your calendar with places to be. And even though you will be alone getting there, you will be in company once there and try your very best to enjoy what’s right in front of you. If you decide to go to a museum, pick up the audio tour guide and let the guide be your company. If you decide to go to a meetup, go! Don’t let anything not your anxiety or time keep your from attending. Don’t think about what would happen when you get there just get up and go.
Hobbies and Side Money
Ever wanted to do something but didn’t because it wont make you any money or you don’t know how? Then make this into a hobby or a weekend gig. You will most likely find a meetup group for this too or an internship. Ever wanted to be a blacksmith? Contact your nearest horse farm and ask if you can volunteer. Ever wanted to get into pottery? Or brew your own beer? Call around and ask if you can volunteer of if they can use part-time help.
In your Darkest Hour Go to the Gym
I know you know this one but we’re not suggesting this for your looks. It will give you a place to be on your most loneliest times. If you know that Mondays and Wednesdays are your most painful nights, that’s when you go to the gym. Put it on your calendar, make reminders that will ping on your screen an hour before you’re meant to go and go. Stay there no less than 45 mins even if 30 of those minutes are on the treadmill and listen to dance music or funny podcasts. Even an audio book but something upbeat is always better. Whenever you feel you’re at your most painful moment grab your keys and sweat pants and go to the gym. If you find that you can’t sleep due to your loneliness then get a 24 hour membership.
No More Cold Beds
One of the more difficult task at the end of the day is getting into a cold bed and unless you can afford a bed that has a built in heating system it may seem that its not possible to have a warm bed to get into. But we may have a way to fix this. I have a friend that sleeps alone too and can’t stand getting into a cold bed so she placed one of them heated throw blankets, the small ones you might use on the couch under the fitted sheet and turns it on half an hour or so before she goes to bed. It might go against proper use to do this, but she checks the blanket for cracks in the wires inside the blanket several times a week to make sure its safe to use. You can also use a regular heated blanket and turn it on an hour or so before bed and it too will warm up the mattress. Ever consider a plush? You know a teddy bear. It too can help dealing with sleeping alone.
Remember to have fun and never give up on your curiosity!
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